Unlike the “Whisky Blogger Commandments“, this is just a draft (and there are only four guidelines so far); please feel feel free to make suggestions for additions.
1. Do not walk a dog you cannot goddamn control. This category includes dogs whose towing power is greater than your restraining power.
2. Do not especially walk a dog you cannot goddamn control on a goddamned extendable leash.
3. If for some reason you are walking a goddamned dog you cannot goddamn control on a goddamned extendable leash and your dog starts going out of its goddamned mind when it sees other dogs on leashes 100 meters away, do not extend the goddamned leash.
4. Once you have retracted the goddamned leash you for some reason saw fit to extend in this situation, either stop until the other dogs are out of goddamned view or walk away in a different goddamned direction—do not follow the dogs your goddamned dog was going out of its goddamned mind trying to get to. Your dog has not displayed any ability to stop going out of its goddamned mind.
Am I leaving out anything important?